For all the difficulties that the staggering economy has brought, it hasn’t been entirely without merit. The shifts and changes have made many of us rethink long-held assumptions and habits and consider other approaches that might be better. With the holidays on the horizon — and the frenzy of gift buying and money hemorrhaging that implies — this is an ideal time to take stock and remind ourselves of the meaning of gift giving and its focus on the sentiment rather than the dollars.
Life coach and regular Daily Health News contributor Lauren Zander describes the traditional approach of shopping for gift purchases as stressful. (She personally finds it boring, she told me, though some people love shopping.) “Unless people have asked for something specific,” she points out, “you are really winging it and spending lots of energy and money on something you aren’t sure they will love or even like.” She does acknowledge that if you know there is something a person truly enjoys but would not buy for him/herself — such as a superb massage, a special article of clothing, a cool new high-tech device — it’s always a winning idea to fulfill someone’s dreams. However, if you aren’t aware of a specific item on the recipient’s wish list or if you have no idea what he/she might like, it’s time to consider a change of strategy.
And so the challenge now, says Lauren, is to consider gift giving as an opportunity to tap into your own creativity to come up with a new answer. If you have children, by all means involve them and make it a family project. For instance, grandparents are thrilled to have original art from the kids, and you can enjoy shopping together for arts-and-crafts materials and framing supplies or maybe make a visit to the local do-it-yourself pottery studio to create ceramics. Music is another field rife with possibility — Lauren’s husband likes to put together CDs of favorite music from the year, creating a beautiful cover that has special meaning to those who receive the gift. Poetry can be fun, creative and rich with meaning. Whether framed as a simple black-and-white message or artistically and whimsically formatted, a personal poem has lasting gift appeal. And, of course, photography opens up many possibilities, especially when it comes to grandchildren and grandparents.
Here, though, is the problem, says Lauren. People usually agree rapidly and wholeheartedly with the personal and creative approach to gift giving, but almost immediately they add a “yeah but… ” to the conversation. The “yeah but” usually reflects concern about how much time it takes to make such personalized gifts, the planning it requires and possibly insecurity about how worthy their ideas are and whether or not they can even accomplish them. “People might be enthusiastic at first, but most often they let their ideas fall by the wayside and before you know it, they are at Macy’s with their shopping list in hand,” she says.
It doesn’t have to be like that. Start by making a plan. Determine who on your list would appreciate a truly personal gift. You might prefer to keep it to just the members of your immediate family and close friends — or perhaps you like the idea of making something for everyone on your list, including coworkers and neighborhood friends. Though this might sound ambitious and overwhelming, keep in mind that you don’t have to make a different gift for each person. Once you have an idea, you can mass produce it. Consider inviting people to a gift-making party, for example a holiday baking party. Everyone brings a recipe and takes turns whipping up their specialties and helping each other out… or you could do the traditional cookie exchange, where each guest brings her specialty, already baked, and everyone puts together beautiful holiday cookie assortments. Gifts from the kitchen are ideal for long lists — you might sugar-coat pecans, or roast almonds and wrap them in pretty mesh fabric tied with a colorful ribbon, or make your own herbs de Provence or other grilling rub. Arts and crafts parties can be a lively, enjoyable way to bring together a community of friends to fashion personal gifts. Again, guests bring their own ideas and items to work on, or perhaps the group decides jointly to make several gifts together. These parties are enormously amusing as well as productive, and they fit well with Lauren’s reminder that personal gift giving is not meant to be a burden, but rather to be fun for all involved.
To be successful, you will need to hop on the planning wagon right now. Decide what you want to do and immediately take out your calendar and create your plan of action. E-mail your friends to rally a team so that you aren’t doing this alone.
While you are busy making merry together… baking holiday cookies, breads and other goodies… or going green by using rubber stamps and fabric ink to decorate cloth napkins (available online or from restaurant-supply companies), why not take some time to discuss family holiday traditions? Maybe yours have become a little stale, in which case you could trade a tradition or two with someone else to see how you might spice up the festivities at your house. These are all ways you can make this holiday season extra special with an expression of love for your friends and family.
