Marion Grobb Finkelstein
Marion Grobb Finkelstein, a communications consultant who runs MarionSpeaks, a workplace communication training and consulting company. MarionSpeaks.com
Do you find that you chronically interrupt people? You don’t really mean to, but you can’t seem to stop? Or do you find that you yourself often are interrupted? Here’s what to do…
To break your interrupting habit…
Listen intently when someone speaks. Chronic interrupters tend to let their minds wander from what is being said to what they will say next. As a result, they miss verbal and body language clues that could have warned them that their turn to speak has not yet arrived.
Jot down what you want to say (when pen and paper are handy). This should reduce your subconscious fear that you will forget what you want to say before your turn to speak, a fear that’s at the root of some interruptions.
Interrupt your own interruptions. When you catch yourself interrupting, you should stop and say something such as, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was just excited about something you said—please continue.” Expressing excitement about what was said frames the interruption in as positive a light as possible.
Chronically interrupted people also should…
* Be as concise as possible.
* Avoid long pauses.
* Periodically ask “what do you think?”
Giving listeners a chance to speak reduces the odds that they will interrupt at other times. (When you must hold the floor, instead say, “I have to get all this out, but after that I would love to hear your opinion.”)
* Use nonverbal cues that encourage people to pay attention. Lean in slightly…touch the listener’s arm…and breathe in audibly when you pause, which signals that you are not done speaking.