What constitutes a happy retirement? Even retirees with a healthy financial cushion can find themselves unhappy if they don’t seek a new path and purpose. “It’s no longer ‘you work, then you retire from that work’,” says Nancy Schlossberg, EdD, an expert on adult transitions and retirement and author of Revitalizing Retirement. “Instead, you want to find another path. In fact, you might even have two or three more paths during your life now that we are living longer.”
Building Blocks to Enjoy Your Retirement
Financial planning aside, there are three key steps for retirement planning to ensure you feel fulfilled, says Dr. Schlossberg.
- Know that there is a future for you to figure out. “It’s very comforting to realize that you’ve got many more years ahead to work and retire or volunteer and retire. It’s not a one-time choice,” Dr. Schlossberg points out.
- Choose a path where you will feel that you matter. “The underlying issue for many people who are unhappy in retirement is they no longer feel relevant. The ‘mattering’ component is critical,” says Dr. Schlossberg. “It’s really important that, as you find your new path, you feel that you’re noticed, appreciated and depended upon.”
- Nurture your psychological portfolio. “Everybody’s worried about their financial portfolio—you may have many, many meetings with your financial advisor. But just as important is your psychological portfolio,” she says. Your psychological portfolio is made up of three components that may need attention now—your identity, your purpose and your relationships.
Your identity may still be tied to the career from which you retired, and you might need to define yourself in other ways now.
Your purpose may need to change, too, if it was linked to your former job.
Your relationships are vital to your well-being, but these might change, especially the ones with former colleagues since you might not stay in constant contact with them. Be open to making new friends, recommends Dr. Schlossberg.
You may also have a different place in your family when you retire, and expectations that family members have of you can get in the way of what you want to do, explains Dr. Schlossberg. Example: A participant in one of Dr. Schlossberg’s workshops told her that she felt very guilty saying, “My daughter thinks that because I’m retired, I can babysit whenever she wants. I don’t want to babysit.” This woman needed to change her family dynamic. “On the other hand, what gives my daughter-in-law’s mother the biggest pleasure now that she’s retired is taking care of our granddaughter,” says Dr. Schlossberg. “That’s her new purpose.”
How to Find Your Next Path
Unless you already knew what you wanted your life to be after retirement, expect to go through a period of exploration. “Much as you went through after you graduated from high school and college,” says Dr. Schlossberg, “you’re at a transition point.”
You aren’t alone. Many people can’t or don’t plan for retirement in advance. “I avoided thinking about my own retirement,” admits Dr. Schlossberg. “I loved my job so much that I really wasn’t interested in thinking ahead. So I had no idea what I was going to do in retirement, and I floundered at first. I had moved from Washington, DC, to Sarasota, Florida, and, in my mind, I thought everybody would hire me as a consultant. Well, nobody was interested in me. They hadn’t heard of me at that point. So I asked myself, What am I going to do?”
“When I don’t understand something, I run focus groups, so I started running focus groups with people who were retired, and I learned from them. I discovered my town’s Senior Friendship Center. I like working with seniors, so it was a logical place to go. I started running a weekly group called “Aging Rebels”…and I have been doing that for 10 years.”
It’s helpful to be open to new opportunities. “I could never have predicted when I originally retired that I would write another six books,” says Dr. Schlossberg. “That really hadn’t been part of my plan. So learn to live with the unexpected and take advantage of opportunities.”
Here’s more of Dr. Schlossberg’s advice…
Get connected to an industry that excites you
“Think about everybody you know and people you don’t know personally but know of. Who’s doing what you would like to do? What field has always intrigued you?” asks Dr. Schlossberg. “Maybe you can’t fulfill your dream to be an astronaut, but you can find ways to get involved in that field, whether it’s at the secretarial level or at a company within the industry.”
She also suggests asking yourself what you regret not having done so far in your life. Now is the time to explore it. “You might have always wanted to be connected to the art world, maybe work in a museum, but worry that you have no experience,” she says. “Call the organization you’re interested in and set up a meeting to discuss ways you can volunteer. Don’t be afraid of starting at a low level—think of it as an opportunity to learn new things.”
Find a life coach
If you’ve identified exciting things you want to do but are scared to take the first step, working with a life coach can be very helpful, advises Dr. Schlossberg. “A creative coach can also help you see options that you can’t see yourself and show you the steps to go from here to there.” To find a life coach: Start with The National Career Development Association (NCDA.org), an organization that helps connect individuals, including those in or approaching retirement, with career counselors and/or coaches.
Tap into senior-oriented organizations
From national groups like AARP, the National Career Development Association, and AmeriCorps Seniors to your own local community center, there are many resources to help you discover your next act or find volunteer opportunities.
For more on finding your path and nurturing your psychological portfolio: Download the Freedom Paradox Workbook, the result of Dr. Schlossberg’ consultancy with Hartford Funds.
There’s no single right way to find retirement happiness. Dr. Schlossberg has identified six types of path seekers. “Each person is a little different,” she says. Embrace who you are and enjoy the journey.
Continuers. “I’m a continuer,” says Dr. Schlossberg. “I’m not working for a salary anymore, but I still write and think about the things I always have.”
Adventurers. These people do something very different from their previous career path and are excited by it.
Searchers. Most everyone is a searcher, asking themselves, What do I want to do next? But true searchers try different routes over and over until they find the one they love.
Easy Gliders. Not troubled by retirement, they get up in the morning and let the day unfold— they don’t have an agenda. “That’s the group I envy because I’m not one of them,” says Dr. Schlossberg.
Retreaters. “There are two kinds of retreaters—those who become couch potatoes and those just taking a moratorium—a timeout to rethink, search and find a new path.”
Involved Spectators. These retirees thrive on staying involved with their old field.
